I have a bouquet of dried flowers sitting on my kitchen counter. They dried nicely and look pretty. I arranged them on December 30, 2019, for our New Year’s Eve party. However, I can’t bring myself to throw them away since they remind me of the time before my injury. It’s a weird and sad thought. But I now split up time “before my injury” and “after my injury”.
I don’t think people understand how devastating an injury like this can be for an active person. It would be one thing if I lived a sedentary lifestyle, but not being able to do the things I love has been difficult. And there’s the fact that I still have trouble with simple things like going up and down the stairs. And the anxiety I feel whenever I have to walk through an icy parking lot. I know there are much worse things that can happen to people, but as someone who has never been seriously injured, it’s a significant thing. The other night I had dreams that I was walking without a brace, walking through snow, hiking to a scenic vista beyond some trees in the forest, skiing–things I can’t wait to get back to.
I still haven’t decided if I ever want to ski again… Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed skiing. It was challenging at times, but mostly fun. But I had I decided NOT to take that second run on New Year’s Day, I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in right now. Part of me has no desire to risk suffering another injury like this. I can’t go through this experience again.
Despite the emotional ups and downs, things have gotten better over the last month and a half. I’m more mobile, I can walk up and down the stairs (for the most part), and I’m not in any pain (usually–unless I’m doing my PT exercises). I’ve adapted to always wearing the brace. I can work out at the gym (upper body, rowing, stationary bike, personal training).
Over the last couple of days at physical therapy, I’ve increased the range of motion in my knee. I can bend to 135 degrees and straighten it to almost 0 degrees. In the next few weeks, it will only get stronger! But as surgery looms ahead, knowing I’ll have to start back at square one is daunting. I’m just trying to stay positive.
source https://betterweightloss.info/knee-injury-recovery-log-4/
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